Beth and I set out for our “luxury” overnight train ride down south to Luxor via public transportation. We had read that there were cars reserved for women in the subways so that they could avoid unholy contact with men, and this sounded great to us. We waited at the front of the train with all the other women as the train rolled up, and then the games began.

Passengers pushed themselves in, crammed like sardines against one another, and we were propelled forward in the sea of hostile women and luckily made the train. The ones left behind on the platform helped to push part of my bag through as the sliding doors crushed it in half, and Beth had to move quickly to make space for a 7 year old girl who started wailing muffled yelps into her stomach as the crowd pressed together, threatening to smother her tiny 3 foot frame.

After being jostled around by more angry women entering and exiting the train, and narrowly escaping 2 minor altercations, and accidentally going one stop too far, we finally arrived at our destination (for all those taking this train, get off at the Giza exit, not the Midan Giza, as it says in the Lonely Planet even though it doesn’t exist). We wandered around, got help from a few folks who spoke English, and wound up at the correct platform for our train.

We had seen pictures of the train online at http://www.sleepingtrains.com/, and were excited for the lavish, white glove experience. Though we had boarded with lowered expectations having heard that the word “Luxury” was a bit misleading, we were happy to find carpeted floors in the hallways, clean bathrooms, and a spotless though cozy compartment (no rips in the seats!). The attendants were even wearing vests and ties. After our Kenya and India train tides, this was luxury for sure.

We relaxed in our little room, enjoying the Luxor Beer, until our dinner came shortly after we left Cairo. After a tasty meal, we turned in early, knowing that we’d need to be up and at ‘em at an ungodly time the next morning. Sure enough, at 4am, the attendant was waking us for breakfast before rushing us off the train at our stop.

We checked into our hotel by 5:45am, gathered our wits, and headed for the ferry over to the West Bank to see the Valley of the Kings. When we arrived, there were shuttles taking tourist up to the beginning of the tombs. Though we could already feel the heat, we decided to walk and save the 1 Pound (BG: a whole 20 cents). We felt a bit like paupers as dozens of camera-laden tourists wearing designer Indiana Jones shirts and ironed convertible khakis eyed us as they sped past comfortably. We laughed when we turned a corner and saw the entrance (BG: less than 100 yards from where the train started). We were already in and walking toward our first tomb before the last tourist was off the tram.

The Valley of the Kings was a pretty cool experience. We checked out three tombs, after much deliberation since the tombs we had planned to see weren’t open that day: Tutmosis III that was high up a long set of steep stairs in a small crevasse in the mountainside, Ramses III, a very well trodden tomb due to the incredibly ornate wall drawings, and Tutmosis IV the largest and deepest tomb.

All of them were pretty different in their own right, one with deep motes to keep out thieves, one with the sarcophagus still inside, one with lots of side rooms for all the earthly items the pharaoh might need in the afterlife, and others with color and long passages from holy books splashed all over every square inch of wall space. The last tomb we went to, Tutmosis IV, was a bit of a hike away from the rest. None of the Raiders of the Lost Arch made it up that far, so we had the whole thing to ourselves when we toured it.

It was also cool to just walk around the valley. This was more desert than I think I’ve ever seen. Everything you set eyes on was either the white-tan limestone or blue from the sky.

We decided to take a 3-kilometer hike over to Queen Hatshepsut’s Tomb. I was psyched because I had been so impressed with this temple way back in AP Art History that I had written one of my college app essays on her originality. Plus a bit of hiking in this odd terrain was an opportunity I couldn’t pass up - even if it was already baking outside.

We began to climb up between two tombs where Lonely Planet told us to go, and were immediately greeted by would-be tour guides offering to show us the way. We shook them off, and kept going, hoping we could figure it out on our own. We climbed up and up and began walking around a ridge carved into the side of the mountain. We had a great view of the Valley of the Kings, and were able to hike in virtual solitude since the tram riders were taking taxis over to the temple instead.

We hiked along the ridge and finally made it up and over to the other side of the mountain. Trillions of round rocks covered the plateau between the two mountain ridges, giving the terrain a distinct moon-like quality. We can’t show all the pictures here, but you should check them out.

We finally got to the other side and slowly inched to the edge to peer over and catch a glimpse of Hatsephut’s Tomb. It was incredible to get that first peek, but absolutely terrifying since there was nothing to keep you from flying off the cliff to the bluffs below.

We walked around a bit further down as the path curved to the left and we had a fantastic view of the whole temple. We weren’t completely sure on the direction, but managed to find our way down and to the ticket booth. We downed a few Fantas, bought some water, and headed to the temple. We wandered around for a while, checking out the architecture and snapping pictures before heading toward the parking lot. Before taking off for our last temple on the West Bank, we stopped at one of the vendors selling limestone carvings. We found one of Queen Hatshepsut and Nefertiti that we really liked, along with a small cat carving, and managed to talk him down to a quarter of his original price. (BG: So don’t listen to the guidebooks that tell you to start bartering at half price…)

We grabbed a taxi and headed over to Medinet al Bahri. Since all the guidebooks said you only needed 30 minutes at this temple, we saved it for last and asked the taxi driver to pick us up in 45 minutes. Once we got there, however, we wished that we had more time. This place was absolutely enormous, with massive carvings and hieroglyphics on the outside, enormous columns and statues on the inside, and expansive courtyards with awe-inspiring views in all directions.

We wandered around the back of the temple and found corridors with stone doorways and small rooms filled with interesting carvings. What also made this experience so fun was the fact that none of the tour groups wanted to be out in the heat of the day, so at 2pm, we again had the place to ourselves. If you’re headed in this direction, take some time and go in the heat of the day.

Exhausted, we took the ferry across the river and headed back to the hotel for a quick nap. We wandered down to the Luxor Temple around sundown, and realized that it was a bit more than we had wanted to spend. We sat outside the entrance instead, watching the sunset cast changing shadows on the temple until the floodlights lit it up, and vowed that we would come back when we had money and do a tour down the Nile and check it out.

That night, we shared a taxi with some fellow Americans to a sound and light show at Karnak Temple. We knew these people were American, because, well, they had unmistakable Middle America accents. You’ll find this on the quote page under one of the “More Shining American Moments” headings, but it’s too hilarious not to include here. Here’s how our conversation went with one of the baseball and apple pie boys:

Lauren: Where are you from?
White Boy: Kenya, actually.
(short silence)
Beth: Okay, but where are you originally from…in the States?
White Boy: Uh, I grew up in Wisconsin. I go to school in Michigan.
Lauren: Huh. So how long have you lived in Kenya?
White Boy: Well, about 8 months.

Right. Saying you’re from Canada is one thing. But this was just ridiculous.

The sound and light show lacked any impressive lighting techniques and snippets from the sound aspect can also be found on the quotes page under “Highlights from the Sound and Light Show at Karnak Temple.” But the temple was cool.

We headed home and dove into bed, knowing, yet again, we had a very early morning ahead of us.