Thai Way or No Way
Lauren: I’ll have a Fanta, please.
Waitress: French fries?
Lauren: No, Fanta
Waitress: Fried rice?
Lauren: No (pointing in menu), Fanta
Waitress: Oh! FanTA!
Well, Butter My Butt and Call Me a Biscuit
Beth: I need to get me one of those… What? Was that Southern?
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Too Many Drinks
Bronwyn: I hope the kids are hungover too.
Lauren: Wait, how old are they?
Bronwyn: Seven or eight. You never know.
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A New Definition
[Unnamed lesbian]: Liberation is orgasms without the possibility of pregnancy.
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No, It’s Not
Beth: Where did you go to college?
Dale: It’s a small school… It’s like the NYU of southern Vermont.
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Too Much Sam Song
Abby: Where the f*** took you guys so long?
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A Democracy… in the 1700’s
Bangkok Post Headline: Bush Says Execution Is An Important Milestone on Iraq’s Becoming a Democracy
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Law School Interview
Interviewer: So what do you hope to gain from traveling around the world?
Beth: Um…
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Lost In Translation
Thai Guy’s T-Shirt: Sorry Girls, I’m Gay
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Lost In Translation #2
Japanese Airline Stewardess: Goodbye! Thank you for your money!
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Why We Almost Missed Our Plane
Lauren: I like this sake stuff.
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The Small T-shirt Was Too Big
Beth: What’s wrong with Asian people. I’m Asian-sized!
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Checkmate
Old guy in a bar: He can play by himself. At least he’s going to win. On the otherhand, he’s going to lose.
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Please Let The Immodium Kick In
Luke (on a 14-hour bus ride): If I start sh***ing myself in my sleep, wake me up.
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Ex-Boyfriends
Lauren: Achoo!
Luke: You must be allergic to me. Most women are. At worst, they become lesbian.
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Maybe Not
Luke: Maybe I should get into legal law.
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Parental Prevenge
Bronwyn (Australia): Her name is Arica, with an A.
Lauren: Why do parents do that?
Bronwyn: Because they know their kids are going to grow up and hate them anyway, so they thought they’d get first.
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Case in Point
Luke: When my dad does it, it’s cute. But when my MOM steals my cookies, she’s a ****ing bitch!
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Travelers’ Physical Therapy
Molly (UK): Back injuries are hard to heal. Expecially with boat riding, mountain bikes, and elephant riding…
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Luke, The Fascist
Luke: What is UP with you and equity?
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National Geographic Documentary: Choice Comments
One elephant is a handful, but two elephants is 10 handfuls.
The view was straight out of a Thai legend. Except for the blond with the camera.
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Night Market Shopaholics
Lauren: What is wrong with me? Am I an impulse shopper? Seriously, they put people in counseling for less than this.
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Agoraphobia
Abby: So you don’t like people touching you?
Lauren:Well, strangers mostly.
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Gailic for Short
Irish guy: Have you seen my friend? A really short guy with a rat tail?
Emily (US): How short?
Irish guy: Like a leprachaun.
Emily: If he were a leprachaun, we would have captured him.
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Kama Sutra
Paul (Canada): I tried every trick in the book, and I still couldn’t get…
Emily (US): And he actually had a book.
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Waita Sutra
Bronwyn (Australia): I love being on standby. It’s my favorite position.
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Webster’s Update
Caroline (US): He is ridonculous.
Lauren: Did you make that up?
Caroline: If by “made up” you mean me and my roomates came up with it in college, then…”
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Who’s To Do List?
Abby: Ok, this is what I want to do today: Watch you eat, get your haircut….
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We’re Disasters
Lauren: Ow, you hit my scrape with your polio crutches!
**
Lauren: Ow, I hit my stitches on your cast!
**
Lauren: Don’t pee on the cast!
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Regarding War and Peace
Beth: It actually is a really good story… a page turner.
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Why are they called coconuts, then?
Beth: What kind of nuts are on that tree?
Lauren: Coconuts, what other sorts of nuts do you think grow on palm trees?
Beth: I don’t know, I wasn’t sure if there were coconut trees or something.
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Still in the closet
Lauren: Another positive thing about going home is PDA. Oh wait, we’re going to SC. Nevermind.
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Time warp
Beth: You know how when you fly from New York to LA you gain hours? Well, we just gained a bunch of hours.
(Beth was totally wrong. We actually lost an entire day.)
Beth: It will take longer to fly to LA than Atlanta cause you’ll be flying against the Earth’s rotation.
(Wrong, again.)
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Did we mention Lauren plays basketball?
Beth: The great thing about Asia is that you’re so much taller than everyone, I can keep up with you.
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Dr. Evil in Bangkok
Lauren: One million Baht.
(This gets repeated on a daily basis.)
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Favorite Thai Ads
Every hour in Thailand is happy hour.
Factory for rent.
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THAILAND CHEERS
To pumpkin pie/To Thanksgiving/To not taking the LSAT/To the most phenomenal Indian food outside of India/To scarves\ cheaper than beer/To George W., the most magnificently f***ed-up leader in the last couple hundred years of Western Civilization/To hundred-dollar lube/To new friendships/To fundamentalists Christians quitting my school today/Cheers to my friend Lauren being a total b****/To Noi (Austrailian for ‘no’)/To elephants/To BeerLao/To five-hundred dollar tuk-tuk rides/To tuk-tuk scams/Sante/Cheers/Up your bumsky/Salud/Up your Sam Songsky/To your gay boyfriend/To Bangkok/To Sam Song/To not knowing what to toast to in 2007/To 2008/To 2007/To Americans leaving the country/To happy and healthy 2007/To losing my BeerLao virginity/To being out on school nights/To Bombay Sapphire Shooters/
