Peruvian Cuisine

Beth: My stomach muscles are sore and I think they’re sore from trying to hold in all the food.

==

Sega Peru

Beth: I feel like there’s a game in South America — hit the white person.
Ruth: Yeah, and then get out, take their wallet, kick them a few times…
Beth: Yeah, screw you, imperialists!
Ruth: They should make it a video game — Kill the Backpacker!

==

Peru Men in Blue

Lauren: These police seem serious, like LAPD serious.

==

Latitudes

Beth: Why is it that the closer you get to the equator the more dangerous things become?

==

Dating Ms. Forgetful

Beth: You can’t be mad at me because I forgot something or else you’re going to live a long, angry life.

==

Strategic Shits

Beth: This is a perfect time for you to have the shits.  We have no where to go, nothing to do, and we’re in a centrally-located hotel.

==

TMI

Beth: I don’t think we need to document every time I urinate on the blog.

==

Traveler´s Fatigue

Beth: I am looking forward to sleeping in a room that doesn’t have a bald light bulb and no windows.

==

At a Witty Loss

Lauren: Why do you get all the quotes?

==

Thanks, Dear

Beth: My hair is so disgustingly dirty that I don’t think I should go out… and then I look at you.

==

A Different Kind of “Cycle”

Lauren: I figured out the cycle: I feel nauseous and hungry so I eat, then I have cramps and diarrhea.  The only time I feel okay is when I wake up after forcing myself to sleep because of the cramps and before I get hungry.

==

Wishful Thinking

Lauren: Can we order in and watch a movie?

==

Hypochondriac´s Folly

Lauren: I don’t feel well.  Can you get out the medical book?
Beth: Lauren, we’ve read the stomach section of the medical book maybe 10 times.

==

Mom (B), You´ll Like This One

Beth: The only thing you ate that I didn’t is your fingers.

==

CIPRO Philosophy

Lauren: I thought you weren’t supposed to take antibiotics on a whim.
Beth: It’s not a whim! You’re in a third world country and you’ve been shitting your brains out for four days.

==

Sick and Lazy

Lauren: How long have we been lazy bums for?
Beth: We got back at 4:30…
Lauren: No, I mean how many days?

==

Really Sick and Lazy

Beth: Ahhhh, that’s refreshing.  Another side of my body for my blood to pool on.

==

Joys of Travel

Beth: How’s your tummy?
Lauren: Fine.
Beth: How are your intestines?
Lauren: Fine.
Beth: How’s is your nausea?
Lauren: Fine. I have heartburn now.

==

Joys of Anti-biotics

Lauren: I feel like someone just waved a magic wand.
Beth: CIPRO waved a magic wand.

==

Jerry Falwell´s Afterlife

Beth: Let’s hope that Jesus is an equal opportunity smiter.

==

Regarding Alanis Morrisette

Lauren: Why is she so weird?
Beth: She’s Canadian.

==

Regarding Machu Picchu After Paying Our Entrance Fee

Lauren: This better be good.

==

Too Many Stairs

Beth: If they’re so good at building with all these stones, why couldn’t they make the whole thing flat?

==

Traveler’s Fatigue

Lauren: I’m so sick of everything.

==

Un-PC

Beth: There’s a part of this book I really wanted to read to you out loud, but we were in mixed company…

==

Can I Eat This?

Beth: You have enough CIPRO in your system that you could drink directly out of the toilet and be okay.

==

Travel Suggestions

Mary: And look, you guys are walking!
Lauren: Yeah, thanks for the Ko Tao suggestion.
Ruth: That’s where they got the broken leg.
Mary: Well, I didn’t tell you to rent a moped!

==

Words of Wisdom

Mary: I just feel like raw fish is not something you should do at an all-you-can-eat.

==

For 25 Cents A Day…

Ruth: By the way, I only have 7 soles, so by share I mean, I’ll share using your money.  I’m happy for you to sponsor me to share.

==

Maternal Instincts

Ruth: Take that screaming child outside.  I did not pay this money for my dinner to hear your child cry.

==

One Pisco Sour

Ruth: I’m drunk and I can’t do anything about it now.

==

One Pisco Sour

Lauren: A.) You need to lower your voice, and B.) You need to focus your eyes.

(the next day)

Lauren: That was one of the quotes last night.
Beth: I have absolutely no recollection of that.

==

Oggling

Beth: I love how you unabashedly stare at things.

==

Now That’s Loud

Beth: We’re being so loud even the Americans are turning around to look at us.

==

The Optimist

Mary: I’m a strong believer in human error.  If humans can make a mistake, they will.

==

Haircut for Lauren

Beth: Look up “curly,” “dry,” “inch…”
Mary: … and “I will kill you if…”

==

Huh?

Ruth: Are you hungry?
Sylvia: No, I just ate a huge mango.

==

Whom To Ask To Take Your Photo

Mary: Give it to someone you can outrun.

==

I´m a Big Kid Now!

Mary: It was a present to myself for having my first grown-up job and keeping it for 9 months.

==

Peruvian Delicacies

Mary: People are waiting an hour to get a heart on a stick.

==

Whose Delicacy?

Mary: I hate turtle. It tastes like poo.

==

Jungle Delicacies

Sylvia: I think I’d rather it yucca spit than monkey shit.

==

Regarding U.S. Policy

Mary: Don’t be a hater just ´cuz we got guns.

==

But Don´t You Think…

Mary: Ruth, we’re ranting right now.  Don’t be the voice of reason!

==

Traveler’s Fatigue

Lauren: I don’t have patience for anyone’s opinion but my own anymore.

==

Spanglish

Mary: (buuuurrrrp!) Oh, con gas!

==

Turning Cranky

Mary: As I get older, I get more finicky.  I get pissed off more easily and I feel more entitled to consumers’ rights.

====

Well, That Explains It

Ruth: Why does he hate men so much?
Beth: Because he’s a psychologist.
Ruth: Oh.

==

Girls, Interrupted

Mary: We are, in a strange moment, trying to respect someone who started a sentence.

==

Boston Charm

Ruth: Don’t try to be charming, old white man.  You’re from Massachusetts; you’re not charming.

==

Ruth’s Dating Life in a Nutshell

Ruth: I can’t take you out in public.  I can only take you to my bedroom.

==

Sarah, Melissa…

Beth: It seems like every female musician who has a promising career has children and then her career goes to shit.

==

Male Charm

Beth: Come talk to this guy.  He’s make a joke and I can’t bring myself to laugh.

==

Thanks for the Gift

Mary: When I get hungry, I get cranky.  (pause) Knowing oneself is the greatest gift you can give to others.

==

She Missed a Few Sunday Schools

Beth: That’s Corpus Christie in Cusco.
Mary: Wait, that’s Texas?

==

The Explanation Didn’t Help

Mary: I don’t like sleeping next to plugs.  Wait, but let me explain.
Beth: Mary, there’s nothing you can say to make me feel like you aren’t a freak so you can just save your breath.

==

Smell + Stink = ?

Beth: God, these pants smink.

==

Don’t Touch Me

Ruth: Poor little thing. I feel sorry for you because you’re rapid but I didn’t get my rabies shot.

==

High School for Lauren

Beth: Why would you get kicked out of class?
Lauren: Well, sometimes I’d be amusing the teachers, and sometimes I’d be amusing the students and sometimes I’d lose perspective on which one was more important.

==

Cultural Differences

Beth: I think he’s drunk.  I don’t know why he’s drunk.  If it was Monday morning and someone was drunk in the United States, it’d probably mean he just got fired.  But I don’t know what it means here.

==

Ahhhh… American TV

Character #1: There’s nothing down there?
Character #2: No, just dead bodies.

==

Bong-Bong!

Beth: I feel like Law and Order is more reliable than the sun rising.

==

One Pisco Sour

Beth: I am drunk.  Let’s just be clear: I don’t remember the last time I felt this buzzed.

==

One and a Half Pisco Sours

Beth: This is the most drunk I’ve been on this whole trip.

==

Regarding Pisco

Ruth: God Bless Amer-, I mean, Peru.

==

Disclaimer: Only For Law Students

Beth: No, Ruth, I’m interested. This might be covered in 1L.
Ruth: Just say to your professor, more and more plaintiffs are abandoning federal ATCA claims and bringing their case in state court directly against resident corp defendants.

==

So What Happens At Co-Ed Schools?

Ruth: We know what sex smells like.  We went to a women’s college.

==

Inappropriate Dinner Conversation

Mary: Maybe we should be quiet.  The people next to us are probably cringing.
Beth: I don’t care.  Those people need to get their LA CUENTA and SALEER.

==

More Ruth’s Dating Life in a Nutshell

Mary: But Ruth, we like him.  He deserves a green card.

==

Peru Cheers

To old friends in new places/To India/To the American Way/Salud/To India/Salud/To Lima/To Not Being in Law School/To India/To Hell/To the American Way/To Pisco/To Taxis/To Finding Each Other/To You Getting a Cell Phone