The Barkers

Uncle Greg: We’re the Barkers.  This is how we do it.  We’re late in every country, in any place, at any time.

==

What Would Rush Limbaugh Do?

Lauren: Some of the most un-Christian people are Christian.

==

Not P.C.

Lauren: Am I not speaking the truth?
Kassie: Well, I think you’re speaking your mind.

==

Ah, The GLAAD Awards

Kassie: Drag Queens and Bea Arther are the worst combination of energy.

==

Swimsuit Shopping

Beth: Can we go?  I’m actually suffering from depression right now.

==

‘Look at that Man Peeing!’

Kassie: What is it about you and penises, Lauren? You seem to bring them out.

==

More Shining American Moments

American Girl trying to get into a Bar: 1989 is mas de diez y ocho!

(Translation: 1989 is more than 18 years old)

Same girl to a bartender while violently demonstration shooting a drink: Tiene, no se como se dice, un shot?

(Translation: Do you have — I don’t know how you say — a shot?)

==

Free Drinks

Kassie: I’m going to have to start looking into Ladies’ Night in the states.  This is awesome!

==

Discoteca

Lauren: You know what these songs are?  Soundtracks to mating rituals.

==

Re: African Weather

Lauren: That shit was hot, man.

==

Shining American Moment

American Woman On the Beach: Well he’s the doctor who gave me E. Coli so why should I expect my bellybutton to be in the middle.

==

Like, Bigger?

Lauren: No, you used more big words.

==

In Search of a Beer Festival

Kassie (in Spanish): Hay una fiesta de cerveza cerca de aqui?

(Translation: Is there a party of beers near here?)

==

Come and Git Your Grits!

Lauren: White people from the South shouldn’t even utter the word “cotton.”

==

How To Choose a Stylist

Lauren: As long as a gay man is cutting my hair, I could care less.

==

How Drunk Are You?

Beth: I shouldn’t drive a car, I can tell you that.

==

Well, That’s One Way To Put It

Lauren (in Spanish): What is a rodeo?  Is it when, I don’t know the word in Spanish, a big cow comes out and a man rides it?

==

The Difference Between L.A. and S.C.

Beth: Look, there are some rellenos. No, chalupas.
Lauren: Churros, Beth.

==

Bad Movies

Beth: Oh, it’s Gothika again.
Lauren: But it’s in Spanish.
Kassie: Maybe it’ll be better.

==

Carly Simon 2007

Uncle Greg: He’s so vain.
Whitney: He probably thinks this blog is about him.

==

The Forgotten Element

Lauren: Aaron is a metrosexual.  He’s a modern man.
Channing: No, metrosexuals make money.

==

What Building Codes?

Channing: That’s capitalism at its best. Pay off the city.

==

Our Off-Roading Experience

Aunt Susan: That was amazing! Exciting! But brief…

==

Tip-Top Toilets

Channing: It’s really nice.  It feels most comfortable to take a shit on.

==

I Was Being Sarcastic

Lauren: You think the funniest quuotes are your own.
Beth: They are.

==

Exactly

Uncle Greg: Everyone is own the quotes page. Someone sneeze and they’re on the quotes page.

==

Spring Break

Lauren: Bush was on vacation the whole month of August.
Whitney: He’s been on vcacation his whole life.

==

Yankee Moves South

Whitney: What is that one thing that they say in Tennesee that drives me crazy?  It’s like, “speak English!”

==

Low Rider

Beth: The only seat in the house that I can sit on with my feet touching the floor is the toilet.

==

Shining American Moment

Loud American Girl: I just want to see a cockfight!

==

What Do You Hope To Gain From Your Travels?

Beth: I’ve learned that chicken can eat a banana while riding a bus.

==

Costa Rica Cheers

To our third country together/To the pulsing beat/To anything positive/To La Bruha/Good Luck on the Rest of Your Trip/Cheeers/Salude